posted by ORACLE JOE on 03/21/08 at 04:57:04 AM CST
The day before yesterday I was out walking my blue tick hound Trace (yes after Mr. Atkins), along the banks of the crick deep in them woods off yonder. Suddenly Tracey just took off like a banshee. I never saw that hound run with such a constitutional as he scampered barking like crazy until he was out of sight. I was thinking well, THANK YOU Trace, leaving me here all alone in these woods, at sunset, with it getting dark, all by my lonesome. I took off running after that damn hound which took me deeper into the outside area of Hidden Lakes’ forests (I live more on the near outskirts of the Grundy border).
Just when I thought I saw that gall dang dog hoping around some trees, My foot got snagged on a root and I fell down a little hillside incline. I smelled that putrid smell that my buddy Ralph says you smell when ya get within range of the Hidden Man, which he described as like a rotten quarter-pounder (which is funny because quarter-pounders don’t get rotten). Sure enough, when I looked up, there he was, the Hidden Man, plain as day, just standing there staring at me from about 30 feet out.
I heard people call him an alien, a Bigfoot, even a Magic Man, and I guess there was something weird or inhuman about him, but I don’t think any of those are true. I don’t know, all I can say is he stunk to high heaven. And his clothes looked metallic, he wears these here shiny britches that flap in the wind and making a rustling sound, like something a rocket man would wear. Suddenly he screamed like a spoiled brat, threw a Pizza Hut box in my direction, and ran off rustling through the trees. I got up and follow him cause I was worried he might be after Trace. But he must’ve been trained in the Navy SEALs or something cause he was evasive maneuvering all over the place doing these crazy ballet moves. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it looked like a person’s body shouldn’t be doing those things. He was just about the fastest thing I’ve ever seen.
I thought I had caught up with him because I started to smell McDonalds fries again, but once I climbed back over that small ravine, all I could make out in the distance was a blurred piece of walking trash heading over the next hill, just lookin for trouble. Once the stinkin smell of fast food disappeared, which lingered along his path like a big fart, wouldn’t you know, old Trace came sulking back, tail tween his legs.
We had to walk back to town in the pitch dark. I expected to see that Bigfoot fella popping out from behind a tree around each turn, but I never saw or heard anything again the rest of the way home. Later I heard on the TV he was pretty busy doing his share of mischief and mayhem. He knocked over our local McDonalds, Taco Bell, and Hungry Howie’s all before midnight that night and left a trail of trash back into them woods. I’ve always heard that Bigfoot stunk and they cause all types of trouble. Before that night, I didn’t give all those stories much attention, I wasn’t a believer. Now I am. The next time he shows up, me and Tracey will be ready for him, with a KFC chicken leg in one hand and a riblet basket from Applebees in the other. Hopefully those distract him so we can make a run for it before he gets real angry.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thanks to Mike for sharing his experience. It is good to get someone who you might say is not "in-town" having experiences with the Hidden Man, that means people are getting around. Glad old Tracey is safe!
If YOU have an encounter with the Hidden Man you feel like we should post, send me a message on the contact page!
-Joe
no comments